Faith is a strange thing. It always seems easier to believe when everything is going well than when hardship hits you like a truck. When you need it the most, so often, you can't seem to have it anymore.
Over the years I have had all kinds of faith. I've seen what it's like to have tentative faith, lots of faith, no faith and something in between where I flirt with faith without making a commitment. It does make a difference the amount of faith I have on how easy I will accept receiving messages and how easy they come to me.
It led me to believe that we need an healthy amount of it to achieve anything. Be it faith in a higher being or our own self. It's like a circulatory system. It fills the cells and the heart with hope. It doesn't have to be perfect. Some wavering or doubt won't impair it truly, but too much doubts or complete lack of faith will put the soul in a strange coma where nothing seems to have sense anymore. Making hope and faith very intertwined where if you lose one the other one tends to leave you too.
Faith is believing in something you can't prove and mediumnity is all about that. Nothing you can see. Nothing you can prove.
A friend of mine pointed out today that we use electricity yet we don't see it. We don't question it, we use it, it is there. There are so many things we take for granted that we don't really understand and can't see. The technology behind a cell phone or a fax machine can't be seen to the naked eye when we use it but the results are constant. Because of that we don't question it. We won't go: "If I turn on the light, will it turn on? Is the bulb real? Is there really light there? If I can't see how the bulb is making light maybe it's not true".
We believe in electricity because the results are unwavering. There is proof that you don't need to know. Someone else proved it for us. It's now a fact.
The hardest part for me in the medium experience is that no matter how much experience I get, no matter how many messages I get, no matter how amazing the feelings can be. There will never be any physical, tangible proof and doubt will be right there at the door looking at me in the eyes and offering candies.
Having a very logical mind is a wonderful thing and I am grateful to be able to question the process and not just become an automaton or subjugated to the point of accepting everything with no mind of my own.
It's all about balance. A balance I don't really have right now, but it's ok. There's a line I have always liked that says this:
"You can't be angry with God and not believe in him at the same time".
It gives some hope, that even in the darkest hours of doubts and anger there is still some light there because the belief is never gone.
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