Healing with love

When I first started my polarity class I was told really early that the most important thing I needed was not everything I would learn in that class. It was not the moves, the technique, the knowledge I would gather that would make the difference.

It was love.

Love was first

Intention second

Technique third

Third!

While sharing many massages with others I started to understand what my teacher meant. When I went to see professionals I really got it. Some had it, some didn't. Without love anything that you do is lifeless. I have seen people with very sketchy technique give the best massages because they were in it 100%, their love was palpable. It was in every move, in every touch.

I think I had my moments, but I was getting bored pretty fast following a pre-established routine and sometimes was just relying on the technique to do the job as my mind was somewhere else, bored to death feeling I had to go from A to B like I had learned.

I got a small contract with a halfway house that was helping recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. I couldn't bring my table down there as it was too far and I had no car. I started adapting the techniques I had learned and help people while they were sitting on a chair.

This changed everything for me. 

I got back in the moment. It stopped being a massage and everything that I was could shine through. The amazing people who were more then ready to feel everything about themselves gave me all the nourishment I needed to give back. There I felt the love. I felt the real contact. It was not a pretty room with a table and sheets and music. It was raw and real. Yet those were the most amazing moments of healing I have had in my life. I am so grateful for these people to have welcomed me in their lives and let me help them ease the stress and pain in their bodies that had suffer a very harsh life.

This let me affirm for myself that I was not a spa healer but a kitchen healer. I was doing my best work on the go when nothing was ready for it. Someone was feeling bad or hurting I could step in right away. Making appointments and setting a staged mood to enhance the healing was just not me. 

I started experimenting with remote healing when people around me were hurting and I couldn't get to them. I had lots of help for that as my invisible circle of guides would guide me through it. 

I remember a friend calling me asking to heal her aunt who had burned her hand with chemicals and had boils all over her hand. I was told to fill her hands with love. Feel the light around them and slowly imagine I was putting a bandage made of golden light around her hand. Slowly I was going around mending the wound using only love and light. I changed the bandage a few times that day, like you would a real one. The next day all the boils were gone and the hand was healed.

Now I know I can't take credit for it. I merely helped the healing process speed up and she did the rest by accepting it. It is still very amazing to see the power of love and light.

I have also seen the difference when eventually I thought I had gotten the hang of it and just made the prayer, not doing the job myself anymore but basically asking my circle of guides do it for me. I would do the bandaging real fast without any emotion, not really being in the moment and not having the same results at all. Love wasn't present and the healing wasn't done. 

I can only imagine that to be able to do this a lot on a daily basis it would require an open heart, no fear to welcome love inside. I want these days to come back where I could feel  love like that. I can tell that all I can do right now are baby steps.

Today I took the time to breathe and meditate. Not a conventional meditation but what I used to do to protect myself.  Feeling the layers of protection one by one. First surrounding myself in white light for purification, then red for anchoring, pink for opening the heart and making sure love goes out but nothing negative comes in, emerald green for pure love and purple for making sure that I connect spiritually.

When I do this first and then open the channel I know I have nothing to fear that what is right will come in and nothing bad will. I didn't go as far as that today. I didn't do the connection, just the cleansing.

I wish I could go faster and that I didn't have to do so many baby steps. But I guess it's like someone who's been in a coma who needs to learn to use their muscles again. Any long period of inactivity needs some time to get back to what it used to be.

I am trying to keep my heart open. Be more aware of my breathing a few times here and there during the day. I know it's just around the corner and not very far, so it makes the whole process less difficult and the anticipation is almost a benediction as it makes me really want to get back to who I am and not wait any longer and delay it.

Love is our real air. What keeps us alive. Whatever we do it is what weaves every thread of our lives so we can shine through it with a thousand lights.