About meditation

I know sleep has always been the first thing I control when I feel I am losing control. I have no control much yet in everything that has happened to me since I first felt the presence of my new guide by my side. It goes too fast and I try to slow it down the best I can.

I think I forget how much control I actually do have. I asked for energy to go down and they did. This is so much better. Not as high, something is a little different, maybe more earthly, but the other state was not enough earthly anymore. The transition was too fast.

I do do a lot of polarity on my body these days. The energy is stuck and not moving properly. I know my body is resilient, but I have hurt it so much, not respecting its limits so much, I try my best to be nice to it and I feel like a big bear trying to hug an ant and afraid to squish it out of clumsiness.

Yesterday I started a conversation with my guide about meditation and decided to write it down. It was too interesting to let it fade in my memory only leaving a faint impression.

Here is the message I got:

My guide: There is no need to go about it the way you do. People find, all, their own way to communicate with the source, with the self, with the matter that unites all things.

Meditation is but a mean. No one is forcing you to use it. there are millions of ways to make that same connection, even more so if you think in higher numbers because there is as many ways as there are people who want to communicate.

No one communicates exactly the same way. You write down messages, it is your way to do it. Why try another mean when you already found one?

Me: While I write, I don't really rest, I don't really breathe.

My guide: I do make you breathe though. This is your meditation. Your form of expression. Many times you seem to think you have to force yourself in a frame that doesn't suit you. Bad frame. Bad picture. You need to find the proper way for you to woo God and to find the way to His Heart. This can be achieved by simply being yourself.

This applied to other people would mean they have to find their own way to reach the Creator, not a pre-fabricated one. What exists is merely a way to show you how a path can be taken. But each individual needs to find its own path. No rules for everyone, as God speaks to all in different languages, in different vibrations and communicates in their heart in the only way it means something to you.

This is why teaching religion is such a hard enterprise. To keep God simple, attainable for all, yet not reduce the greatness of who He is.

This is what meditation is all about. Find the proper way to express love to all things that surround you. Some stroll near a pond, some will eat, some will have fun and dance, some will be very serious about it, approaching it like a mathematical equation. There is no need, but there is no wrong way to do it. If that way suits them, then it is the best way for them. They oughtn't change.

I am done now talking about meditation as I can tell your mind got peace from what I said. Meditate or not on what I said to your wish. I simply hope you can finally accept your own way is your best way. No need for candles, incense or any other stimulants. Be in peace. Communicate with an open heart. Then, in the heart of things you are right where you want to be. You are with God.

                                                                 
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The ending makes my heart melt in so many ways, I feel I am melting into love. It moves me to a point where I have no words to express it.

How can this stranger, that I can't call a stranger anymore, can have so much affect on me? How can he melt long term resistances that were hard as steel in so little time and in so little words?

I have no idea how this all speak to others. My friend said that reading the blogs she feels she can almost hear them, that it elevates her energies. Is it a universal feeling? Or just something I share only with close people to me who will feel it through me because they know me?

Because I know I am supposed to share this without a single doubt, I believe that this is probably for everyone to be impressed by what means something to them. Find their own meaning and truth in those words.

I do realize that many times a day I will be reminded to breathe. Take a good breath here and there, a small gentle push to make me breathe life in my body again. I never new meditation could be beautiful. I almost hated it because it felt like a stranger to me. I felt I had to do something that other did that made me feel uncomfortable. I though that spiritual progress was to become a certain image I had in my head. The illuminated man sitting like a lotus and not quite out of this world anymore. I didn't feel it talked to me. I never understood that what I do is already meditation. That who I am, the way I am is already meditating all day long even when I am not aware of it at different degrees of vibrations. I didn't understand we do not have to be highly connected to feel God. That he can be accessed in every tiny small things without even the slightest need to elevate yourself to Him. He will come down to you. Not really even, as he is already at our level. Finally I didn't understand that to be with God is the simplest thing of all. To achieve spiritual enlightenment doesn't require any work, any readings, any years and years of trying, it just requires an open heart.

"Be in peace. Communicate with an open heart. Then, in the heart of things you are right where you want to be. You are with God."

These words I read so many times since yesterday. I can't keep them out of my mind.

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I managed to calm the voices in my head.  To cut the communication and stop the voices, find my off switch, the lightsaber seems to work after all, maybe because in my head I know that if I cut the link with such a blade no thread will grow back right away like it does when I use a mental cutter. This is why I think I managed to sleep. I can hear faint voices in the back of my mind but not in the foreground. There is a veil and I see that if I need to, I can push the imagery to imagine I am closing the door to an attic and closing it behind key. When I go down the ladder I leave them up there and I go down on the ground.

So far it seems to work so it is a relief, because living with voices talking all the time is a pain. It reminds me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In season 3, in the episode "Earshot" she got bit by a monster who gave her his demon qualities of hearing people's thought. As fun as it was to have that gift to start with, she spiraled down unable to keep with all the voices in her head. Shutting down, unable to respond anymore. In the last few days, those voices were so active for me, the brain was over-solicited so much, that it felt the exact same way to me.

Again, I am reminded to rest and add a lot of fun to my life. Breathe, rest, have fun, try not to work as much, as I can tell this is almost the same energy that propulsed me to do all these burnouts many years ago.

I want to learn to respect my rhythm, to learn to recognize when fun needs to be added and when it is time to work, All work and no play is not good for anyone. Even if it is to be closer to a beautiful world filled with angels and light and spiritual enlightenment.