Today I feel in love.
I have let fear control me for so long that to feel this huge amount of love in my whole being is overwhelming.
I went to sleep still very dizzy last night. I could barely walk strait and it took me a while to remember I have control over what happens. So I asked for the energy to stop climbing again so I could sleep. Right away the feeling of my head turning stopped. It still took me a bit of time to find enough peace to sleep though but when I did, I slept very deeply. This morning, I still feel slightly dizzy and I can tell the energies are going up again. It's a reasonable speed though and not too invasive, so I'll let it do it's thing for now. I am really aware that yesterday was not optimum. I was too low to do whatever I was trying to do. It was too straining.
This morning though, I woke up with this amazing feeling of being in love. This feeling I had so many times, I remember it very well. It has no lust or passion, just pure love that fills all the cells. I can feel the energy of Edgar Cayce around, diffused, not embodied. And I feel love towards me too. This is so touching and so humbling and I feel so tiny to feel that much.
I have observed that guides have that kind of effect on people. Someone I know has Saint Teresa as a guide and the love coming from her towards that person is very similar to what I feel right now. It's an unbreakable link that usually starts as a teacher/student thing but can very well become a relationship of equals. This love is so overwhelming because of it's unconditional nature, the unwavering feeling that just is every second, even when you don't think about it.
When I started dabbling in this gift my heart was not that open, my head was analyzing every tiny details. I was basically like those doctors who poked at Cayce but with myself. My head was harsh. When I started I learned quite fast I had no guides. No one around me who had the experience of being human. That this was quite rare but I had had no need for any. I was pissed and angry that again I was being different then everybody else and requested a guide. (way to go to be bathe in love energies!) The sweetest man came. To the best of what I could feel he used to be a shaman-healer from a native American background. I never let myself really connect with him, be close to him. I know he is still there, but I need to mend something with him as I had felt abandoned and had the feeling he was a consolation prize to make me shut up.
Well, you can see that higher energies are not always flowing in me! This goes to show that connecting with higher beings doesn't require an open heart. It saddens me though to have spent so much time in virtual combat with them. So even though connecting is not new, it is also new to do it how I do it now. I don't feel I am fighting them, I feel still hesitant and a little afraid, but my head for the most part is at peace and lets my heart take over.
I understand that souls attract each other when they have a similar path or similar obstacles to overcome. They can help each other. Because time and space doesn't exist over there, I also understand that being linked to an old soul that used to live on earth (known or not) is profitable for both souls as they both heal everywhere in time.
It's quite a strange concept as we are so used to seeing time as linear. But there really seems to be no boundaries and what happens now, happens anywhere in time at the same time. So in that regard a soul that comes to guide us can be healed too by learning from us.
I won't go too far in these debates this morning though, feels a little too complicated for my spinning head today!
I don't know how long Edgar Cayce will stay near me. If we have a bit of work to do together or not, but today I'll just accept that his energy is there. I never really just been in an a feeling of gratitude without analyzing it to extreme, so I'll keep it simple and just try to feel the love and give it back. It's quite exhilarating. Like when you first fall in love.
Feelings are way more powerful then words anyway. They make me feel more at ease then transcribing words. The slight dizziness is putting some shadow on it a little, as it is not super fun to feel it, but I don't see how I could avoid it if I need to go up in energies. At least it's not too fast!
Maybe it can be a new beginning for me, to accept without struggling. To keep my head aware, but let my heart do all the work.
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