This blog tells of the path of a medium who doubted herself for way too long. It tells of her journey to come back from deep disbelief to finally embrace all that is me.

I have traveled quite a bit since I stated this blog. My train stopped at many stations, explored a lot of inner turmoil and has now sailed away from the lands of doubts and shadow. On this new found faith, I am finally ready to open my heart for what is to come.

I am a reluctant medium no more.


The journey continues here: Musings of an apprentice medium

Monday, July 4, 2011

Reluctance is more common than I thought

I am amazed how much researching anything now is easy.

Back then, when I was writing novels I had to travel to the cities I was writing about, breathe the air, notice every detail so I could bring them back with me and write about them. If they were overseas, I would need to search every library to get information about the destination.

Now to travel thousand of miles to write about a specific village, all I have to do is look it up on the internet and all is there.

For the new generation that was born with computers and never knew what it was like to live in a world without Internet, this might seem not that impressive. But last time I worked on that novel, Internet was in it's infancy, when I started it, it didn't exist yet.

The ease of communication now is impressive and I forget sometimes how much everything is accessible. This explains why it took me so long to research about other reluctant mediums. I had no idea there were any!

I have already discovered that someone wrote a book called:

Cracking open: Adventures of a reluctant medium

and that someone else wrote a blog called simply:

the reluctant medium

I am not that old, but my brain doesn't live in the technology much, so to me it's like a whole new world opened up. It gives this amazing sensation of not being alone and to feel that there are others like me out there.

And less enthusiastically... my ego is a little bruised to realize I am not that special anymore. Well... that was to be expected. After feeling alone with this for so long, my ego tried to feed on anything it could to feel better about itself.

Just goes to show that everything has already been done somewhere by someone. Even though we are all special and unique in the details of who we are, deep down, in what makes us human, we are a lot alike.

My path is still my own though and will be different. But I think it helps a whole lot to know for a certainty that what scared me for so long, doesn't only scare me.

This makes me wonder, how many more are scared alone and don't know they are not alone?

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