I can't help it, the more I am delving in those abilities of mine, the more the old nagging question comes back biting me on the nose every time. "How am I supposed to become independent financially by doing something like this?"
I have come a long way accepting that money is not evil and can be quite good when used properly. But I feel that I am playing the game of life where many know how to make money out of who they are and I am stuck in the early levels, living off charity, waiting to be able to understand how the whole system works so I can be independent and give back.
When I was a teenager, my hero was a 16th century swordsman who would go on dangerous adventures, save the day, make lovers happy and share all the money he would receive, only keeping the strict minimum for his survival. This pretty much shaped my whole vision with money. When you have it, you give it.
That's all nice and swell but one doesn't pay rent and bills on that! Dear hero of mine, couldn't he care less, he used to sleep beneath a tree!
I have at least 2 resistance when it come to receiving messages for others and money.
The first resistance: How does one quantify what it is worth?
Early on, my friends started paying me to help develop a sense of confidence and to heal my relationship with money. It was difficult and still is, to be honest, to put money on the words of an angel that tells someone they are loved and comforts them. Somehow, even now, I have that strong feeling that this is utterly wrong to make people pay for that.
At the same time, playing made me learn something. Everyone has different professions and everyone has a different set of skills that might be of use to others. This is worth something as the other person doesn't have that skill set and I will pay for the skills they have. I guess it's all a matter of pricing it right.
But what is right? I have zero idea. Should one make the difference between people who have lots of money and the poor, different price for different classes? Should the length of the message have anything to do with the price? Sometimes they can be quite long, sometimes short. I don't control it. Sometimes they clearly want to make contact for a prolonged period and give many messages to help through a hard time, what am I supposed to do with that when it could be interpreted as milking for more money!
The second resistance: Messages are unpredictable
I have zero idea what will be said before it starts, unless they come to me first and give me a one second flash so I understand where they are going (but it's not always the case) It means that the messages themselves can vary widely as not everyone will need to hear "I love you". I have had messages that I know will drop like a bomb on people. They will shake the very foundation of their world. Sometimes it is soft like a caress, sometimes it's very analytical of the life situation showing every detail of it. One cannot ask and be answered the way they want to. They will be answered the way they need to be. Most of all messages can be difficult to take because if they come from angels and not guides, they speak a language that is often ethereal and not very concrete, and when it is concrete, usually coming from guides, then it looks at every issue right in the face and it's not always easy to accept the truth without masks of any kind.
So not only do I have to deliver the message, but I have to know how. That "how" is a lot tougher then it seems. It requires psychology, understanding, listening, compassion to a scale that is way beyond conventional counselling (hmm strange that there is "selling" in that word!) I have some skills at that, but I can tell, it would help to even get better at it, as the reception of the message is 50% of the message itself. Usually it is not rare that on the spot the angel can answer issues that have been too foggy or unclear. So it also requires more connection during the reading of the message which adds to the unreliability of it. I can't guarantee it will happen.
And what if someone simply says: " This is not right. None of it concerns me?" This happened to me at least twice, from memory. Not a lot, but what happens then? I worked. I did the message. Was I badly connected or is the message too hard to accept for the person? Should I get paid anyway?
I once did polarity to a man, during my final tests for class. He was a very strong, squared, tough man. When I looked at him on the table, he looked closed off but mostly toughened up by the years, like nothing could hurt him anymore. Then I made contact and touched his hand. I still remember to this day the overwhelming feelings rushing through my body coming from his. Underneath all the carapace his being was crying. It was very overwhelming because outside nothing happened at all. His face muscle didn't relax, he didn't smile from tension leaving his body. I felt I was comforting his very soul the whole hour the massage lasted. At the end, he stood up right away without taking even one second to absorb everything and told me he wasn't impressed with the technique (that he didn't know prior to the massage), that he actually felt nothing the whole time. I was floored. The man, to my point of view, had been crying for an hour.
So what can I make of that? Did I feel right? Was he too shut down to be receptive? Did he try to hide it as he was a manly man type of man. Did it take him a while for it to reach his heart and he never called me afterwards to share it? It's a mystery to me. When it comes to messages with people I don't know, it gets even trickier. Did I connect to the right guide or angel? How I am sure I am talking with the real one? If I am sure I am connecting right but the person denies it, what happens next? Should they still pay if they believe it's not right?
There is also the fact that sometimes I just plainly get nothing. Whether I am not in the mood, opened enough or it's not for me to deliver the message to someone. If I am doing it from a distance it's not such a big deal, but what if the person actually came all the way to see me? I can't guarantee it will work and even more I can even get unsolicited messages that no one asked for. This can happen, particularly when I feel close to someone's pain or need for answers. The angel will be right there, starting to talk, probably expecting me to write it down, which I usually do. Those messages are usually way less successful as the person is not even necessarily opened to receiving them.
All this makes pricing such a service so difficult. Making it either a business with rules such as "this amount of money per pages" or making it on the go "give me what you want", which results in the person freezing right there in front of me because they have zero idea either what to give me.
I am not perfect, it's not exact science, it's not even science! So these issues are justly a very big deal to consider when deciding what to do with messages and money. I have received many messages on this subject, in the past, as I was struggling with this issue. The gist of it was that money is a neutral energy and it's only what you do with it that gives it it's flavor. I wish they could come with a plan and lay it down for me, but that's not how it works. They open roads, they never say which one to take.
I know that for someone like me, who is still in search to reconnect, these issues might seem premature in the scope of my journey. I had to deal with them already in the past And as experience tells me, I know that as soon as I open the gates I better be prepared because the flow won't wait for me. I can't say I have figured how to deal with money yet. But maybe I understand better why it is such a difficult choice to make.
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