Unexpected Freedom

Inspiration, Inspiration. Inspiration.

I am floating, transported away by inspiration. Such a delightful moment to enjoy for someone who has been thirsty for so long. An inspirational drought is very hard to go through for too long. It's hard to keep faith and hard to believe that anything will ever come back.

I barely slept today. I read old drafts, from an old novel I wrote, all night. Having to continue as soon as I woke up.

What impresses me very much is the ease with which writing this particular novel comes to me. So much more than anything else I do. Especially healing or mediumnity.

I don't judge it. I don't censure it. I have deep love for everything I wrote and deep respect for that work I did. Considering how harsh I can be in contrast with other aspects of my life, this is so refreshing.

I think that the difference here is that for that particular novel I never labeled myself. I never spoiled the fruitful terrain. I had droughts of inspiration to go further but I never forced myself to continue. To become professional with it. I never created unnecessary stress towards money or success.

This freedom is priceless as it reminds me that this is how it should be for everything else in my life.

If I didn't care about how to survive so much and could just let my talents be the way they are, it would be an amazing journey away from judgment and banging on myself for not being good enough.

In freedom the self expression becomes pure, untainted and closer to the truth.

I am hoping that by indulging this inspiration and how deep it lets me be totally free, it will spill over to all my other projects so I can start feeling free to do medium related things without always being so harsh with myself.