I am still dizzy and not all there yet, but this is the first major attempt in two years to connect, so I think I should write about it while it is still fresh.
I have never tried drugs of any kind so I have zero idea what a drug induced altered state feels like, but what I just went through really does feel like an altered state of mind. It's been so long that I forgot how powerful they can be and why it is not an easy thing to balance with real life.
My energies had climbed up reasonably since yesterday. Not very high for me, as I know I can really go up there, but a lot higher then they have been in the last years. When the energy goes up it's pretty much like taking an elevator. Those big ones, for a huge skyscraper. They kinda make you feel a little dizzy. Or also when you fly on a plane and you take off and your body needs to adjust to the new altitude. After a while you feel better up there, but early on it is still weird.
It started today with a friend of mine who send me some pages about 2 mediums: Garret and Cayce. I knew a little bit about Cayce's work but the few pages revealed new information that touched me immensely. Again, someone's hardships and doubts were summed up in so few little words. It floors me every time how it means so little on paper when the reality of it is overwhelming.
A story told about the fact that he agreed to do a trance in front of doctors, got to me the most. He entered a deep sleep and doctors were poking around his brain trying to prove the whole thing was a fake. When it wasn't enough they literally started poking at his body, using hatpins and clipping his nails, treating him like a lab rat, concluding that his lack of physical response was due to the fact that he had learned to harden himself to pain over time. When Cayce woke up from his trance all the pain came rushing and he got angry saying he wouldn't never try to prove anything anymore.
This touches me so much, that something inside me changed. I think I understand that there is nothing to prove to anyone. Those who don't want to believe will never be convinced anyway. It is not science and science will never be satisfied. And strangely I feel ok with that. After struggling for so long, I get that this world that we don't see doesn't need proof. It has no need for proof. Only individuals need it for themselves. Whether for the medium who wants to be sure it is true or the receiver who is actively looking for frauds.
The problem is that the spirit world is way beyond our comprehension to put in words. My angel's words come back to me when he said that we are not crystal balls. We bring visions at best and looking for perfection in the rendition is pointless. It probably will never happen.
So to come back to my experience, I was deeply touched by that soul who lived so long ago. As it happens sometimes, when I feel very close to a soul, I call it unwillingly. It didn't happen right away but hours later when I was sitting down trying to get my energies up and breathing. I felt an energy come to me. It is always very hard to tell the difference when it's a new energy and I didn't know who it was. I just started to feel very nervous inside, my hands were shaking slightly. I felt somehow that soul was half inside me and I was still myself. But that nervousness was not mine but someone else's. I started writing down what seemed to be Edgar Cayce's words to me. My hand kept twitching and changing the position of the pen as he kept saying it wasn't the right position. I ended up writing in a very weird way and can't even tell half the words I wrote. He apologized for the feelings he made me feel as it was quite uncomfortable. The best I understood is that energy of him was the "old" self, closer to what he was in real life then wherever they are after.
I remember that feeling of "old self" when I contacted Graham Chapman for someone. He had come to me and it smelled so bad. He showed me what he was like alive before we could move on to another state. I had zero idea who the guy was when I contacted him. My culture didn't go as far as Monty Python then, but eventually when I could recognize the energy it did change and I could see a version of him more at peace.
I can tell though that when dead people come it is for guidance and not showmanship. Graham Chapman was haunting the dreams of someone and it turned out that they had a bit of a path to do together to heal things. In a strange way he became a guide for a little bit.
Well, because I have dealt with dead famous people in that manner, I tried to stay open, even though the first reflex I had was: no no no. It is quite intimidating talking to someone who has a name that means something and I am always afraid I am just making it up like wishful thinking.
Well wishful thinking doesn't make a soul stick to you, so I would scratch that one. That's really what happened though. I couldn't shake him up and make him go away. So I kept shaking a bit, feeling all nervous inside. I thought: "ok, I haven't eaten much today, must be why." So I ate. I watched something for 40 minutes and realized it hadn't left me. It had nothing to do with needing food, it was the soul still stuck to me!
I could tell it wasn't a bad energy or a leech or something of an ugly nature, like I had felt before (Entities that defy all logic), just someone who wouldn't let go. So I asked gently and it didn't go away. He did go away once I mentioned that if he was in the light he should do as I asked. As I felt guilty to have shoved him away I apologized myself, which made him come back. And he was stuck to me again! Eventually he did leave and got replaced by a higher version of himself.
Now, this is where you can tell I have zero idea what I am dealing with here. I don't claim to have any great knowledge or understanding. All I can tell is that souls over there seem to have not one aspect but many. Like mirrors. That version I talked to felt a lot more wise and enlightened. He said it was a cluster of souls. Not just his but many and in that state they could feel closer to God (or the main energy source).
To the best I can understand I think he was telling me he could guide me and teach me things. At that point I was starting to feel incredibly dizzy and tired. My body was vibrating so fast my angel told me it was really too hard for me to keep up that high. So I went on the bed and while I was slowly starting to go down, the cluster-Cayce entity (sorry I have zero idea how to call him) told me he could teach me a new way to heal for me.
I have an abscess on a tooth that needs healing and I can't afford a dentist so I have to heal it the best I can with natural ways. I read about a poultice that works but I can't afford the ingredients for it. So cluster-Cayce made me do a mental incision of the abscess, clean it by sucking up all the infection away and apply the poultice mentally. He told me that the body only needs to believe it has the poultice on to heal, doesn't need the real thing. I still need to tend to the poultice as if it were real and that it would act the exact same way as the real deal.
After that I basically fell down an elevator shaft and got so tired that I could barely move. Well, I have zero idea if it will work or not, but it is worth a shot. I have no other solutions anyway.
So here you have it. After 2 years of refusing to contact anything I got to make a small contact earlier for a friend and got this huge hammer on my head, as I still feel weird and un-phased even a few hours later.
I read that Edgar Cayce could do up to 8 readings a day at one point and said it would kill him. Well if what I felt today is any indication I understand why. This is crazy energy going on. I am sure practice makes it easier, but still it is quite a toll on the body.
If ever I don't show up tomorrow, it is probably because I am recuperating.
I did do two blogs today though, so hope it compensates!
Have a good day everybody, my head is still in a weird state so I'll call it a night!
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